As parents, it is our primary instinct to protect our children, and watching them make mistakes can be utterly painful. Yet, they learn valuable lessons from committing mistakes, and gain wisdom and confidence when they rise from them.
Keeping your kids unharmed does not mean sheltering them from all possibilities of defeat. Yes, you should let them fail, but you let them fail safely. This, however, can be difficult, especially when it causes regret, sadness, or anxiety. But if you never want to see your child unhappy, it is only yourself you’re giving a favor, not him. Let’s face it, life isn’t always rainbows and butterflies and things don’t always work out our way. That is something your child needs to realize early on or he will have more difficulty as he grows up.
That said, here are five reasons why allowing your kids to make mistakes is necessary
It expands his understanding.
When you’re always quick to fix your child’s mistake every time he commits one, then he learns nothing. What will register in his mind is that you already took care of it. Thus, you are stripping him the opportunity to grow and learn.
For instance, your child’s teacher calls your attention because he lied about a recent school project, an offense that merits a failing grade. Rather than covering up for your child or asking the teacher to give him a second chance, let him face the consequence of his actions, which is receiving a failing mark. This way, he would know that what he did was wrong, and at the same time, he would understand why. Since he is now aware that dishonesty brings about unfavorable consequences, he will think twice about being untruthful in the future.
It improves his decision-making skills.
As parents, we know whether our child is ready to take part in certain activities. But often, they insist on participating in activities we know they’re not ready for. If this is the case, then let your child move forward and do as he wishes, for he will never know what lies ahead if he has gotten the opportunity to experience it himself. If it works out as he expected, then good for him; if it doesn’t, then he now knows why partaking in such event is a mistake. Ultimately, this will encourage him to make better, wiser decisions in life.
It develops his problem-solving skills.
Too often, parents rush in quickly to help their child figure things out, whether it’s pouring his own glass of water or zipping his own coat. Sure, we don’t want to see our children struggle, but if we keep on doing even the simplest things for them, they will not be able to stand on their own. Letting your kids try repeatedly until he finally gets it right teaches him more about himself and about life. Figuring out how to do things independently also develops your child’s self-confidence.
It boosts his confidence.
While seemingly embarrassing and somewhat degrading, mistakes boost the confidence of a child. Through his blunders, he will develop coping mechanisms and will come to realize how his decisions or actions can either make them or break them. Committing mistakes will also make them more resilient. They will then have the confidence to face life challenges without the fear of failing or falling apart and never getting back up on his feet.
It teaches him valuable lessons.
Mistakes are an essential part of growing up. They teach us important lessons, help us become better at setting apart right from wrong, make us understand things much clearly, and thus make us wiser. This applies not only to children, but to individuals of all ages. If it weren’t for our mistakes, we wouldn’t have learned a lot of valuable life lessons.
On the other hand, letting your kids make mistakes does not mean you should have to expose them to all possible dangers. There is a certain extent to which you allow them to make their own choices. For example: Most children aren’t naturally reckless; however, they are not able to pay attention to details as closely as you can, and may not be aware of all the possible risks. So, you may allow your child to climb a tree if he insists. But if that tree is home to swarming bees and he is allergic, would you still allow him to?
Allowing your children to make mistakes does not mean you’re letting them fail or you’re falling short of being a good parent. You only want them to better understand life and learn important lessons through their own experiences. You’re instilling in them the sense that no matter what trials life throws at them, they’ll be able to handle it and come out stronger and more confident. Likewise, you’re giving them the opportunity to grow into responsible, autonomous, and strong-minded individuals.