I came across this article when I was searching on how to be the “perfect mommy”. And I can’t agree more!
It became clear that being the perfect mom is NOT the path to connection. Being a real mom is.
Here are 16 upsides to being imperfect:
- Your kids learn resilience. Life will not always go their way and people will not always do things “right”.
- You get to learn that your kids still love you when you make mistakes or are otherwise imperfect.
- Your kids will feel less pressure. They learn from who you are, and if you’re always striving to be perfect, you’ll imprint that upon them and they will spend their lives feeling like they’re never enough and need to keep striving to be enough (aka perfect).
- You get the chance to repair trust when you make mistakes. There is SO much connection in the act of repairing trust with another human being.
- Your kids get to see the TRUTH about people: that they are imperfect, they sometimes disappoint you, but they try hard to do their best.
- Your kids feel free to fail, make mistakes, or otherwise be human (imperfect) and feel safe and confident that you will love them (because we show that we love ourselves, imperfections and all.). According to Donald Miller, author of Scary Close, healthy and high-functioning people often have parents who do not hide their flaws, especially from their own children.
- You get to have more authentic relationships with your friends because they get to peek around your facade of having it together to the REAL YOU where you are just trying to figure it out and do the best you can.
- Your kids will get to watch you go with the flow, be flexible, and love “what is” rather than always wishing things were different. They’ll learn how to do this too!
- You’ll be able to be more present in life, rather than always distracted by thoughts about what you could’ve done better and plans for how you can make sure it turns out perfect.
- You’ll teach your kids how to be less worried about how they are perceived and judged, and how to be more oriented around connecting and being present with the people and experiences they’re engaged with in the moment.
- You get to release some of the pressure of who you “should be” and get to see who you really are! You might be surprised to see who you’ve become over the years.
- If you’re imperfect, you probably can’t get everything done well and on time…so you might have to ask for help. Imagine what it might feel like to get the support you complain you never get. And your kids might learn how to be more helpful and responsible too!
- Your partner might feel more capable and inspired to be more helpful when he/she’s not being compared to the “high bar” of perfection.
- You might laugh a lot more. When we let go of the striving to do it right, we get to laugh more at ourselves and see the humor in when it’s done differently than we had imagined.
- “Doing it right” is loaded and has a lot of expectations. You probably keep your family really busy doing all of the things you “should be” doing. Imagine what it might look like to do less and have more time to enjoy your life.
- You’ll have more energy. Trying to be perfect is EXHAUSTING! (not to mention unsustainable).
Let’s embrace our Flaws+Awesomeness!